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A HARVARD 
ALPHABET 

THE VERSES BY W. B. W. AND H. W. P. AND 

ANOTHER: THE DRAWINGS 

BY J. G. C. AND R. E. 

I 



THE HARVARD CO-OPERATIVE SOCIETY 
CAMBRIDGE • MASSACHUSETTS • MDCCCCII 



JTHE i.iaHArtY OF 
CONGRESS, 

WW ^q 1962 

C »KS CV,XXo No. 

cony e. 



CO PYRIGHT 1902 BY 

W. B. WHEELWRIGHT 

AND H. W. PALMER 



To John Harvard &' Sons 

ff^e respectfully dedicate this book 





is our Athlete; 

Long may he wave 
O'er the Y and the P 

And the bold Carlisle brave! 



May he bat, row^ and run 
And play football vs^ith zest, 

Unless he is floored 

By the deadly strength test. 






is a thing that the Y. M. C. A. 

Is shocked to behold in the 
night or the day, 

And well it may be; 'tis a 
boy with a "bun." 



Just see, dearest reader, this student has 
one. 





is our Crackajack College 
Crew; 

There's one queer thing 
about it, 



You can't get on it with a pull, 
You can't get on without it. 





is the Dun, 
Impertinent one, 
Who, searching for "mon," 
Is tapping the door. 



'Tis likewise the Debt 
He's trying to get 
From me, so I let 

Him knock on till he's sore. 




is the Etiquette practised at 
college, 

Elegant etiquette all must 
acknowledge. 

The ''Ladies' Hum Jumble" and "Man- 
ners for Gents" 

Are the models we follow, as this represents. 






is for Fusser, 

And F is for Fair, 
And F is the Father 
He'd ask did he dare. 



But F is for Faculty, 

F is for Fail, 
And lastly the Favor 

He gets in the mail. 





^^^^^^^^^^^^■^_ 


:W 






^y^'fl 




Hakvaiu* College, 



18-J^ 



y:^<ycd.<L&'±^ 



to come to the Dean's Office, on 




ring office hours. 



L. B. H. RKIGGS, Dean 



Room Lf. _ 

The Dean'e office hour* are on Momlar/ruesilay, and Friday, from 10 to 12.30. 



I 



._. I 



i 



mpMamtmni 



=««W"SSSJ!555555;55^^^^^^^^^^ 




what a Game! 

Why the deuce can't we 
score ? 



It is always the same. 
Hully Gee! what a game! 
The half-backs are lame 

And the line men are sore. 
Gee! what a game! 

Why the deuce can't we score? 





/A n /v 





stands for Harvard, New 
Haven as well, 

Since H stands for Heaven 
and likewise for Hell. 






is my Insolvency, 

That's what makes me 
blue; 

Aye, the I I'm eying now 



Is an I. O. U. 




J is old John, 
Who yet is no Jay; 
He stuck all our dads, 
And was old in their day. 
As a rooter and linguist 
He's best of all men. 
For to him "Veritas" 

Means "Ter Hill wid Yale, fren'." 





is for Kegs, 
Whose contents and dregs 
We drain till our legs 
No longer support us. 



Like Omar Khayyam, 
While we still have a dram 
We don't give a damn. 
Let the Proctor report us. 




stands for Ladies and we stand 
for them. 

How dismal old Cam- 
bridge would be 

If Grace wouldn't go to the 
ball games with Clem, 

And Maud wouldn't go there with me. 







is Memorial, 

Transept armorial, 
Hall Senatorial, 



Food on the bum ; 
Steaks to be laboured with. 
Scrambled eggs flavoured with 
Shells, and soup savoured with 

Coon waiter's thumb. 





is the Note Book we 
carry each day 

To while at dull lec- 
tures the hours away. 

We fill it with pictures, 
with verses and jokes. 

For we know when we please we can buy 
printed notes. 





is the Officer seen on the square, 

As he paces about with om- 
nipotent air; 

He wears a large belt, but 
there's nothing to spare. 

'Tis also the Offering taken from all. 

Two tickets apiece to the Officers' ball. 

For druggists the number is hardly as small. 




^_^^ Ois the Proctor; 

H ^P I blush to discuss 

^(l The faults and the foibles 

fii 

Of this horrid cuss; 

He peeks through the keyhole, 

He's contemptibly mean, 

He rubbers our mail 



And reports to the Dean. 




is my quartet of Queens, 

To choose any one of whom 
means 

To lose all the rest; 

And so, as you 've guessed, 

ril worship them all just as Queens. 





is the Rain. I sing 
Of the beautiful rain in Spring 
That, pouring down hard, 
Reduces the yard 



To a wet, sloppy, mud-puddled thing. 






is the Student. 

Oh, where can you find 
A uselesser body 

Or more better mind? 



He will smoke, drink and 
study 

At once in the strife, 

To fulfil his conception 

Of strenuous life! 





is the Typical Harvard man. 

I'd like to describe him, 

But nobody 
can. 



Some call him a 
dandy, 

Some call him a snob. 

Indifferent others. 

But judge from this 
daub. 





is the Urchin so ragged and 
torn, 

Who loafs on the street from 
the day he is born. 

The words he learns first show his natural 
bent, 

They are, "Down wid de Ha'vards" and 
"Scramble a cent." 



«K£c 





is the Varsity, fountain of fame, 

And often the bet that you 
lose on a game. 

'Tis also the Victory drawn 
for this verse. 



Which we don't think is good. 
But it might have been worse! 





I 



stands for the Wisdom of Poco, 

Wonderful wisdom of him so 
rococo. 

He'll buy your old suit, cash 
a postdated check, 

Play a mild game of blackmail you 'd never 
suspect. 






J&.C . 




is the Xtra we order to eat 

When we dine at Memorial 
Hall. 

There's an Xtra fine soaked 
for each order and still 



It is not Xtra fine after all. 




"R'R* 



I 




is the Youthful instructor 

Who thinks he is something 
quite swell. 



He gives us E Pluses, 
On Sunday he fusses, 

Oh, my, what a ter- 
rible sell! 





5^ is the Zeal, 

So hard to conceal, 
With which we appeal 
To "Rooters," when we. 
With arm waves ecstatic. 
And both cheeks pneumatic, 
Cry out so emphatic. 

Now, boys. One! Two! Three! 



IIAfiVA^D#HAR\^a2D IhAIS^AKD 




HARVARD. 



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